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Three Reasons to Unplug and go Offline

Life can seem to go a thousand miles an hour! It’s a challenge to rest, reflect, and recharge. It’s even harder to unplug and go offline from the screens of life and social media. That’s why I took this week off to unplug and log off.

Unplug

First night camping near Old Rag mountain

My wife Laura and I left Monday morning for four days and three nights of backpacking in the Shenandoah National Park. This was the first trip just the two of us have taken, and the longest. We value adventure, risk, and fun over boring, safe, and predictable. And our trip was anything but boring, safe, and predictable!

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Why I’m Going Offline for a Few Days

Let’s face it, life can flat our wear us down, can’t it! It’s true for everyone, but especially for the go-getter, fast-paced, action-oriented, get-er-done types like me! That’s why I’m going offline for a few days.

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In the last five years I’ve…

  • Pastored a new and growing next generation congregation
  • Parented three growing boys (now age 10, 8, 5)
  • Coached various football and basketball teams
  • Spoken at various retreats, conferences, and been a guest speaker at area churches
  • Started and finished a D.Min. degree (click HERE to read about it)
  • And lots of other stuff!

I confess that through the busy-ness I haven’t always shut down, rested, recharged, or listened carefully enough to the Holy Spirit. That’s why I’m going offline. I need to recharge and renew my body and soul.

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How Prayer Helps to Root DOWN to Bear Fruit UP

This weekend I have the privilege of speaking at a church retreat. Tomorrow I’ll be giving a workshop titled, “Praying Roots DOWN to Bear Fruit UP.” Prayer is such a key to bearing fruit, especially in our witness in the world as Christians. By no means am I an expert, but I’ve been learning some things about prayer and witness that may be helpful for you too.

Prayer

God wants us to bear lots of fruit (as we’ll see from John 15).

There is a lot of fruit we could talk about bearing, but the fruit I want us to focus on here is the fruit of our witness as Christians in the world!

God wants us to love our neighbor as ourselves, right? for the most part that means people who do not go to church, who are not close to God, and who are different than us.

We might conclude that God wants to bear the fruit of influencing others who are far from Him, right???

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7 Strengths God Provides

We all struggle to have the spiritual strength needed to face life. Maybe it’s temptations, habits, or even addictions. Many of us struggle with feelings of loneliness, frustration, uncertainty, sickness, boredom, and certainly weakness. This was the topic of my sermon yesterday from Ephesians 6:10. You can find part one of the video HERE.

7 Strengths God Provides

Sometimes Christians act like life is more of a playground than a battle ground! But as Warren Wiersbe has famously said…

“Sooner or later every believer discovers that the Christian life is a battleground, not a playground.” Warren Wiersbe

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In Ephesians 6:10 the Apostle Paul said it like this…

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.”

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How to Live a Spirit-filled Life

Ever struggle to live carefully? You want to do right, change a bad habit, or treat someone more loving, but you just can seem to be careful?! That can be a struggle for me. I addressed this in my sermon yesterday on Ephesians 5:15-21. You can find the video HERE.

Spirit-filled

At times I’m not careful with my words and actions…

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How to be an Awesome Dad!

Dad’s don’t begin parenting thinking, “I hope to be a complete failure!” Most of us want to be awesome dad’s, right!? I do! I’m not claiming to be an awesome dad. But I learned something this weekend that may help.

Awesome dad

Backpacking in the Shenandoah National Park.

Manhood Adventure

This weekend I took my 1o year old son Elijah on our first backpacking trip. This was also part of his rite of passage into the double digits (he turned 10 in March)!

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How to Stay Happily Married at Least 13 Years!

Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary! It’s been incredible. And those who told us it would get better as time goes on… they were right!

Happily Married

Wedding Day May 26, 2001

Do we have a perfect marriage… NO! Do we have conflict… YES! Is it really getting better each year… YES!
–more–
Can you experience the same thing… MAYBE!

Happily Married 13 years later

On our 13 year anniversary date May 26, 2014

Every marriage is as unique as the individuals that come together. You cannot possibly have the same experience my wife Laura and I have had. But you CAN stay happily married at least 13 years!

 

Three things make it possible to stay happily married:

1. Marry the right person

After a person’s relationship with God, the person they marry is THE MOST important decision in life.

The right spouse…

  • lifts up
  • unleashes potential
  • encourages
  • makes dreams possible
  • helps
  • compliments

The wrong spouse…

  • tears down
  • denies possibilities
  • discourages
  • prevents dreams from happening
  • hurts
  • manipulates

I’ve been asked countless times, “How do I know if she/he is the one?” In other words, are they the right person?

Here are a few tips for discerning if that person is the right one for you:

  • You’ve listed what’s important in spouse they fit the most important issues
  • You can’t imagine a future without them
  • You’re better together than separate
  • Mentors/friends/family affirm the relationship
  • You agree about #2 below

2. Build on the right philosophy

Early in my friendship with Laura I asked her important questions. For example, “What do you think the role of a wife is in marriage?” “What kind of family do you want to have?” “What do you think about kids?” The answers to those questions helped me discern that we were on the same page.

Philosophy is the grid that guides decisions. It’s the way we see and interpret life. Having an aligned marriage philosophy is essential for a couple to stay happily married!

What does the right philosophy include?

  • The purpose of marriage
  • Conflict resolution
  • Role of husband and wife
  • Communication
  • Good to include parenting issues too

Where do you get the “right” philosophy?

Examples: parents, mentors, those who have been married 10+ years, but especially those married 25+ years. Pick their brains and learn how they experience being happily married.

Books: Laura and I have been reading books on marriage and relationships since we first dated. Here are a few of the books we’ve read and recommend.

3. Get wise counsel/advise

My wife and I are passionate about helping college students and young adults date and marry well. The experience we had with many mentors is likely why. We weren’t perfect. But with the input of many great people we had a blessed dating experience, engagement, and 13 years of marriage and counting.

Other than building and centering our lives around Jesus (THE key), three pieces of advice we heard during our engagement guide us. We took these to heart and have built our marriage around them. We write these in every wedding card we give.

  1. Stay best friends. If you’re not marrying your best friend you’re in trouble!
  2. Never get too old to hold hands. 13 years and going strong!
  3. Have fun! We may never have a lot of money, material things, or a lot of hair! But we have FUN! Now that we have three boys 10, 7, and 5, it’s more important than ever! We have family fun that includes Family Night at Chick Fil A every Tues, family game night, and regular fun playing ball, riding bikes, and laughing and cracking each other up. Laughter and fun are definitely good medicine!

You CAN be happily married at least 13 years. Be intentional. Work at it. Invest in it.

QUESTION: If you’re happily married what has made it possible? If you’re to married, what questions do you have about getting married? If you’re unhappily married, how can I help?

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A Personal Note and Update

This afternoon my wife Laura and I will fly to Dallas, TX. Saturday I will receive my D.Min. degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. In light of this journey I want to share some of my experience. The last four years has been life-changing. I trust this personal note and update will encourage you and give you a glimpse into my experience.

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Five years ago I was seeking God for the next steps of ministry. My wife and I had plans to move to Texas for me to begin a Ph.D. program. Thankfully the door closed on that! But as usual when one door closes another opens. We stayed in Maryland I became the English pastor at the Chinese Christian Church of Germantown (Maryland). Part of that decision was to begin a D.Min. program with an emphasis on multiethnic ministry. The results have been life-changing!

 

D.Min. in Church Planting/Leadership

The D.Min. program at DTS is cohort based, peer learning, and case study based. My cohort started as a church planting cohort. My first class was with Aubrey Malphurs, known as somewhat of a guru on the topic. We did case studies on churches like Watermark Community Church, The Village Church, and Lakepointe Church, to name a few.

The cohort didn’t have enough momentum to continue. That enabled me to participate in two others, the executive and large church/preaching cohorts. That experience gave me a much broader experience and exposure. I had classes in leadership with Dr. Bill Lawrence, Dr. David Fletcher of xpastor.org, and Brad Smith, President of the Bakke Graduate University. Alan Hirsch of Forge Mission Training and Future Travelers was a guest in a class on the missional church. And I had a preaching class with Dr. Haddon Robinson. What an amazing experience!

 

Dissertation and Research

When I began the program I was challenged to consider my greatest need and do research to meet that need. Building a team to plant a new church was at the top of the list. I was burdened to do that in a multiethnic context. So the topic of my dissertation is identifying and recruiting leaders in a multiethnic context. Let me know if you’re interested in reading my dissertation by leaving a comment.

I had the privilege to do case studies on two great diverse churches. Ray Chang is the senior pastor at Ambassador Church in Brea, CA. Aaron Graham is the lead pastor at The District Church. My dissertation is worth reading just to learn about their stories!

My hope is that the research I did results in two things. First, that pastors and church planters will be helped in their process of recruiting new leaders. Second, that my research will inspire more research to be done in the area of multiethnic ministry.

 

Lessons learned

Developed great friendships and mentors

What an honor to study with pastors and leaders from around the country and several from other countries. Many of these relationships have forged close friendships that will last a lifetime! Not to mention access to some great leaders, professors, and pastors of churches we studied.

 

Always a story behind the story

Using the case study research method we unearthed the story behind the story of many large churches. There are good reasons why Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler, and Steve Stroope’s churches are mega! And it’s highly unlikely you or I will replicate those circumstances. We can celebrate what God has and is continuing to do in and through them. But let’s quit trying to be them and be the men and women, leaders and servants God saved us to be!

 

Hypotheses

In the near future I will write a series of blog posts on my three hypotheses. The research conclusions have given me a foundation to build on for the rest of my life. In short, the three “secrets” to identifying and recruiting leaders are:

  1. Cast clear and compelling vision
  2. Assess potential leaders for the specific roles you’re looking to fill
  3. Empower leaders with real authority and responsibility

 

Getting a doctorate is a big deal and a little deal

It’s pretty cool to think that on Sat I will be introduced as Dr. Ed Choy. I remember joking about that with my buddies in college. It’s been a lot of time, effort, work, and some sacrifice to complete. So yeah, on one hand it’s kind of a big deal.

BUT, on the other hand it’s kind of a little deal. This is what God called me to do. So I give Him the glory and credit for the grace to do it. And whatever good fruit comes as a result is for His honor and glory, not mine.

 

Next steps

At least three things are next…

1. Vigorously apply what I’ve leaned

  1. Currently serving with a great group of co-workers at CCCGermantown. My desire is to serve them and prepare for transitions in the coming year. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. I want to finish this season of ministry well.
  2. In the coming year I hope to help our co-workers develop a clear vision, assessment process for potential leaders, and empowerment culture for leader formation.

 

2. Develop launch team for Restoration Church in Gaithersburg, MD (launching Fall 2015)

  1. Cast vision. I’m in the final edits of the Restoration Church Launch plan. As God opens doors to share this plan I will share it and cast the vision wide.
  2. Assess potential launch team members. Those interested in being a part of Restoration Church will be assessed for fit. The DNA of a new church is important. If we set this right from the beginning the chances for something special are great!
  3. Empower the launch team to make disciples and lead well. We will build a disciple-making missional culture in the next year to prepare for the church launch. Once the right people are on the bus, as Jim Collins says, they will be empowered to lead according to their unique SHAPE.

If you’re interested in hearing more about Restoration Church let me know. I’d love to share more of the vision with you. We’re looking for some great people to be a part of this new life-giving church just outside of Washington, D.C.

 

3. Give my life to help RESTORE  people to God and to UNLEASH their God-given potential!

  1. See a MOVEMENT of Restoration Churches. We want to launch a church that launches church launching churches, locally and globally!
  2. Coaching leaders. As God allows and blesses Restoration Church I want to give myself to helping other leaders and church planters unleash their full God-given potential.
  3. Teaching. Part of my passion is developing healthy relationships between formal biblical and leadership education and the church. I hope to teach some courses at the college/seminary level and build bridges between higher education and the church through internships and apprentice relationships.

 

QUESTION: What one or two things have had the biggest impact on your leadership development?

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Highlights from the 2014 Exponential Church Planting Conference

The #Exponential Church Planting Conference is top flight all the way. Great content, great people, and always full of surprises. This year was my fourth year attending and the experience lived up to everything I hoped it would.

Exponential 2014 highlights

Here are some of my notes from various speakers in the pre-conference, main sessions, and workshops.

 

Matt Larson (@Matt_larson): Creating a Culture of Reproducing and multiplication
  1. Giving away leadership demonstrates that its not about you.
  2. Its all about and for God. Are you okay with that?
  3. Leave room for the Holy Spirit to speak to others in ways that may not be completely in line with what you were already thinking.

 

Shawn Lovejoy (@shawnlovejoy) – Simple Systems That Work

7 things we need to think through to keep the system simple…

  1. Think through the WHY behind the WHAT
  2. Think PROCESS not PROGRAMS
  3. Think CYCLICAL not LINEAR.
  4. QUALIFY the UNQUALIFIED.
  5. Create SIMPLE Steps
  6. Leverage the worship service for sign ups
  7. Be RIDICULOUS about follow up!

 

Nicky Gumbel (@nickygumbel) – Can the Nation be Changed?
  1. Cleaning nets is important, but its not the purpse of the nets. The nets are for catching fish.
  2. Enough infighting in the church. We need to unite around Jesus!
  3. Just because things are going down doesn’t mean they will continue to go down. #ThingsCanChange.

 

 Dave Gibbons (@davegibbons)
  1. You don’t have to be big to make an impact.
  2. The Holy Spirit is the X factor of loving people
  3. Evangelism and discipleship are all about supernatural love. Then it becomes FUN!

 

Vince Antonucci (@vinceantonucci)
  1. It made Jesus sick to see people without God. Does it make you sick?
  2. If you’re not living for His cause, you’re not really living!

 

Jim Burgen (@JimBurgen)
  1. What level of lostness are you comfortable with?
  2. The number one question asked of Jesus: why does He hang out with sinners?I won’t follow wimpy Jesus! I want to follow KING Jesus!
    1. Do you really want sinners in your church?
    2. If you do, they will show up.
    3. Don’t plant a church that promises bread but serve up rocks!
    4. You okay with sinners coming into your church? It’s a mess!
  3. Let’s plant some churches that drop the rocks and give hungry people bread.

 

Larry Osborne (@larryosborne)
  1. The people who are best at drive-by guiltings are often the worst at reaching people.

 

Alan Hirsch (@alanhirsch)
  1. We will fail unless we get discipleship right. Most churches suck at it!
  2. The church growth movement basically misinterpreted the great commission. Thought it was all about evangelism, when the commission is making disciples who obey Jesus!
  3. If the Great Commission IS all about making disciples, where did we get it all wrong?
  4. Incarnation, God became a man. What ever happened to this part of the equation, HELLO?
  5. Christianity without discipleship is Christianity without Jesus!

 

Damian Boyd (@damianlboyd)
  1. God doesn’t want us to hide the light, He wants us to put it on display.
  2. Our job as church planters is taking the gospel to places that are dark.
  3. Doing NOTHING should NEVER be an option!
  4. Your voice is necessary! They should know your name. You matter!

 

Michael Frost (@michaelfrost6)
  1. If we don’t get the opportunity to announce the rule and reign of Jesus, then we aren’t being #missional.
  2. Col 4:2-6 – two-pronged to approach to role of the evangelist:
    1. There are some who are gifted evangelists who have either a local or trans-local call. Paul asked for prayers for those gifted as evangelists.

    • Then he says, as for YOU who are NOT gifted as evangelists.

    2. Paul doesn’t think we are all evangelists, we are not all going to boldly proclaim the gospel. For most of us, our primary mode of proclaiming the gospel is in response to people’s questions.

    • This implies we are living lives worth questioning! This is your primary missionary lifestyle.
    • If you live like them, then what do they have to question your life about?
    • Live a life that evokes curiosity, that’s so freaking weird, that people around you want to know who you are, to invite you to their parties!
    • A fine upstanding middle class suburban lifestyle is not intriguing!
    • If no one is asking you questions, you’re doing it all wrong!

 

Hugh Halter (@hughhalter)
  1. The way of Jesus…

             Incarnation
                                  Reputation
                                                      Conversation
                                                                             Confrontation
                                                                                                      Transformation

  1. True godliness deeply dives INTO the world!
  2. The MOST righteous one ever walked without judging sinners.
  3. We’ve got some work to do folks. #DIVEIN
  4. Don’t be afraid, the people around you should actually like you!

 

DJ Strickland (@djstrickland)
  1. The Holy Spirit is always interrupting our plans, that’s how we know the Spirit is a woman!
  2. If we’re honest about what witness is, we’re going to have to change the way we SEE!
  3. Jesus sees people no one else sees
  4. We need to see Jesus the way He really is so we can see people the way they really area.

 

James Meeks (@revjamesmeeks)
  1. The key to our success in getting results = preaching the announcements
  2. Whatever it is you want people to do, make it a sermon

 

Matt Chandler (@mattchandler74)
  • Luke 15
    1. What makes preaching distinctively preaching is the Word of God.
    2. Jesus enters into the world views, and then reconstruct them redemptively. Gospel preaching deconstructs and reconstructs.
    3. When I was growing up timeout was what happened after dad knocked you out!
    4. Don’t be sharing other people hanging out with lost people stories
    5. Summary points
      1. Don’t live vicariously through others
      2. Trust the bible. You don’t have to be cute
      3. Trust the Holy Spirit.

 

Andy Stanley (@andystanley) – Communicating with Unchurched People in the Room

Approach to preaching – “approach is everything”

  1. If you don’t care what people do with what you say, you don’t care about people.
  2. If you’re really committed to reaching un-churched, non-Christains, then from time to time we have to change our approach
  3. I can’t make someone fall in love with Jesus, but I can set up dates.
  4. Challenge: Avoid the phrase “The bible says…” and instead substitute the author.
    1. This communicates that the Bible is the foundation of the Christian faith. Therefore, if there is an error, a problem, a conflict, then there goes the whole Christian faith.
    2. The foundation of the Christian faith is an event… the Resurrection! VITAL!!!
    3. The problem with “the Bible says” is what else the bible says. It’s NOT all equally applicable and relevant.

 

Choco de Jesus (@PastorChoco)
  1. Engage your church
  2. Engage the community
  3. Engage the city
  4. Engage the world.

 

Tim Cathcim (@TimCatchim) – Building Effective Teams for Missional Impact: The Fivefold Giftings of Ephesians 4:11 in Team Building
  1. Simple definitions
  • APOSTLE: sent + extend
  • PROPHET: questions + reforms
  • EVANGELIST: tells + invites
  • PASTOR: protects + provides
  • TEACHER: explains (topic) + trains (task)
  1. Hold diversity/unity tightly together. They go hand in hand. CANNOT have a cloning culture. Stay away from cloning, competing or congregating cultures.
  2. The ideal/sweet spot is a collaborating culture.
  3. When common mission glues unity & diversity together = collaborating culture.

 

QUESTION: (1) for those at Exponential, what were your top highlights? (2) for those NOT at Exponential, what’s your favorite highlight from above?
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Exponential East 2014 Preview: 3 Reasons it’s a MUST

The Exponential East Church planting conference takes place April 28-May 1, 2014 in Orlando, FL. This is the largest gathering of church planting leaders in the world. The conference theme is “Seek + Save” and will feature 100+ speakers, 125+ workshops, 15+ tracks, & 5,000 church planting leaders.

Exponential 2014 will take a fresh look at evangelism — proclaiming the Good News — as we rethink and challenge some of our old paradigms and rediscover some of Jesus’ old truths. Within the context of discipleship, we will press into five key areas of evangelism:

ReThinking Evangelism | ReThinking Outreach |

ReThinking Witness ReThinking Preaching | ReThinking Commission

Exponential

This year will be our (my wife Laura and I) fourth year attending Exponential. Every year it’s been challenging, encouraging, and inspiring. This year it has a much different feel though. I can’t let the cat completely out of the bag, but I’ll just say that in the next 12-18 months we believe God wants to use us to launch something new! Much more to come on that in the weeks ahead.

Attending conferences is great. But there are a few things we can do to get the most out of it. Check out this post, 5 Do’s and Don’ts to Make the Next Conference You Attend Radically Beneficial. HERE is another helpful post from @revchadbrooks.

Here are 3 reasons the Exponential Conference is a must: 

1. The Content

There is SO much amazing content offered at this conference. WAY too many options, LOL! But it’s such a mix of people, churches, seasons of life/planting/launching new churches, etc., that there is something for everyone. 

The content at Exponential is broken into at least three categories…

1. Pre-Conference

Two half day sessions before the main conference begins. 
I will attend the Beyond the Call Pre-Conference hosted by Passion for Planting. 

The description: “developing the launch plan, building a launch team, marketing/outreach, leadership/staffing and creating/funding the vision. We’ll also dive into those practical “have to” topics like legal documentation and your portable church equipment. We all know church planting is hard and we’ll address issues head on with the topic of Planter Heath.”

I’m super pumped about these sessions. The topics deal with the main questions we have about next steps.  

There are 6 other pre-conference tracks. Each of them is loaded with great content.

2. Main Sessions

All of the main sessions will be streamed LIVE and FREE. For dates and times (EDT) of all 10 webcast sessions, consult http://exponential.org/webcast.

The main session topics and speaker line-up:  

Rethinking Evangelism: Nicky Gumbel, Dave Gibbons, Vince Antonucci, Ed Stetzer, John Teter, & Louie Giglio. 

Rethinking Outreach: Jim Bergen, Choco DeJesus, Larry Osborne, Alan Hirsch, & Damian Boyd. 

Rethinking Witness: Michael Frost, Hugh Halter, Danielle Strickland, Craig Groeschel, Jeanne Stevens, & Greg Nettle. 

Rethinking Preaching: James Meeks, Andy Stanley, Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, & Dave Ferguson. 

Rethinking the Great Commission: Dave Ferguson, Greg Nettle, Greg Surratt, Matt Chandler, Dave Travis, Oscar Muriu, Dave Ferguson, & Bill Hybels.

3. Workshops

Over 125 workshops are on the menu! Overwhelming??? But amazing opportunities to hear leading practitioners up close. And they’re all recorded and podcast-ed FREE. I listen to workshops from previous years regularly. LOADED with great content.

 

2. The People

Content is great, but life and ministry is all about people! There are a LOT of people to meet at Exponential! Two groups of people are especially important…

Network Leaders

It’s one thing to fill out forms online, talk on the phone, and Skype. But Exponential gives us the opportunity to meet leaders in person, both formally and informally.
My wife and I will attend an informal BBQ Mon hosted by Stadia, a banquet Tues evening hosted by Stadia, a luncheon Wed hosted by AmbassadorNet and the EFCA, and a dinner party Wed evening hosted by NewThing.

Friends (old and new) 

For the third year in a row my wife and I will be with her sister and husband (my bro-in-law). They planted a few years ago and are praying about being a part of something new. It’s an honor for us to share this week seeking God and dreaming together.

There are many other old friends we look forward to seeing, sharing, laughing, and maybe crying with.

No doubt we will meet and make many new friends. Only God knows the divine appointments that await all 5000+ of us attending!

 

3. The Experience with my Wife

I’m blessed to have the opportunity to attend Exponential with my wife Laura. We’ve done this the last several years and it’s a highlight every year. We love to debrief and talk about all we’re learning, hearing, and experiencing together. And of course it’s nice to unplug & unwind after hours with my best friend and closest ministry partner!

 

Exponential Main Sessions STREAMING FREE!

If you’re not able to attend you can watch the main session for FREE! Register HERE. 

This year I will be part of the #Exponential Social Media team. From Mon-Thurs I’ll be tweeting (@ed_choy using #exponential) from the pre-conference, main sessions, and workshops. 

 

QUESTION: what’s the most significant or favorite church planting resource?